Enough Is Enough Already!

TMZ MUST DIE!

Single handly, this is what is making America dumber. Tabloid shows are numbing down the mental capacity of whoever watches them. I have too much crap to worry about in my own life, so excuse me that I don't give a flying rat's ass about Jennifer Lopez shopping for clothes I can never afford or Mily Cryus insulting the Asian community. There are things called school, working, and bills that just seem a little more important.

Sad enough, tabloid fodder websites like TMZ are the most visited 'news' websites on the Web. It seems the American Public care more about the Tiger Woods divorce and how many mistressess he seems to have.

Look, I know the news isn't a big basket of puppies and kittens with warm muffins. Well neither is the real world. I understand that if you watch or read celebrity magazines just to escape for a while, but don't make it your life. I've known people who get so reeved up over celebrity divorces or scandels that you would think they actually knew them. Prime example is this Tiger Woods thing. Just to show how everything is upside down, think of it this way: when an average everyday couple gets a divorce, its a sad, tragic event for all those involved and the people they know. But in CELEBRITY WORLD where nothing is deemed to sacred, it becomes something for 'journalists' and 'celebrity panels' who have no connection with the people involved to dissect and make it thier business.

On Extra tonight (my mom had it on during dinner), the panel began talking if Tiger Woods will 'cause harm to himself' and ended by saying 'he might be the next Anna Nicole Smith'.

GAH!!!!

Do these people have no soul? Guess not if you can laugh about calling Kelly Clarkson fat like they did on TMZ.

Face it True Believers, this is what's going to cause America's downfall.

Fan Fiction Blog 1: The Joker

Heath Ledger's Joker has definatly put a whole new generation of girls through puberty. And in some cases, a late puberty. The Interwebz has became a Joker fangirl temple that has its share of good and bad parts. This post is all about the bad.

1-The Joker/any male character- I do not have anything against gay people/couples. Far from it. But why does it seem like 95% of all fan fiction has Joker getting it on with one of the following: Bruce/Batman, Harvey Dent, Gordon (which makes me shudder), Scarecrow (which gives me nightmares), and several other promenient male characters. I blame the nurse's outfit, but Heath definatly had an awesome pair of legs. Made me jealous. I understand 'Man Love' is in right now and if you want to write or drawn Joker/Batsy gay porno, go for it. Personally, I don't like it.

2-Joker/OC-Now, I'm dissing myself in this to, so no flames! OC's are tricky. You either make them Mary-Sue's or get them to the point where you want them tied up to a car and blew up...oh yeah, I went there. Here's the run down of the typical OC's for Joker fics:

A) Daddy/Mommy/Family Issues Girl: This character has deeply rooted family problems that leads her to be bat-shit crazy, metally fragile, or Emo.

B) The Already Mentally Messed-Up Girl: already has something mentally wrong with her such has being a Sociopath, suffering from dissociative identity disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Schizo, or Bipolar Disorder.

C) The Kidnapped Girl: Pretty self explanatory there. But if you write it correctly, you can get a serious messed up Stockholm Syndrome going on where the point she feels sorry for the John Wayne Gayce of the modern age.

D) The-He-Saw-You-And-Must-Have-You Girl: that's what we call a STALKER ladies!


3) A few stories I read have actually nailed the Joker (no pun intended) pretty close. Other's are hit and misses that tend to bore me quickly. What no one can really agree on is the whole 'having-sex-against-your-will' thing. Some writers say that he will do it, while others say he has a code.

......HE BLEW UP A FREAKIN' HOSPITAL! Nuff said.

Guess its hard to chose a side because all the Jokers in media form has always came off asexual. Abusing Harley is his way of getting off, I guess. That does explain the baggy pants. One author, whose screen name I can't think off right now which sucks because they are awesome, uses sex as a way to completely screw with the girl's head. The way they write it is extremely...well, words can't really explain it.

4) The happy endings. Can't stand the happy "we'll get married and have a bunch of babies" endings. Give me something sick and twisted that will either screw with my head or make me feel like I'm going to Hell for laughing at. Save your happy endings for your Jacob/Bella crap; no one wants that here.

My brains running out of steam, so I guess I should stop soon. If you don't believe me, check out some fan fiction sites. If I missed something, let me know.

Cause I'm the Goddamn Batman Fan Girl!

Not trying to take anything away from Grant Morrisson, but this whole Batman angle he's doing...ehh. Like every comic book character, (Unless your Gwen Stacy, Uncle Ben, or Jean Grey), Batman will just get better and come back. And I'm sure dire consquences are sure to follow! *Dramatic music* SHOCKING!

Hell, DC killed off Superman and Wonder Woman, so I guess Batman was next. EVEN BIGGER SHOCKER!!!! But Bats being dead just hasn't effected me like most of the comic community.

Batman is my favorite DC character of all time...which is strange considering my favorite Marvel could destory the universe just by thinking it and rebuilding it to her liking. I know everyone says "It's because he doesn't have any powers", but there's a multitude of non-powered heroes in the DCU that don't, so :b. Batman is a symbol that normal people can accomplish things thought not possible. I know he's influenced me; that's why I have my own Bat Symbol tattooed on me.

The reason people can relate to Batman is mainly because he IS human. It's a total psychological thing. Everyone in life has an event that rocks them to their very core, thereby establishing the rest of their life. Instead of going Emo and giving up, Bruce Wayne decided to fight back; to avenge his parents and save a town that was going to shit. Superman actually had the best quote to describe Batman in the JLU cartoon: "As long as that man can breath, he'll never stop fighting!"

Even though he is human, Batman seemed unstoppable. Until 1994 and I read the first comic book that ever made me cry.

One word, two syllables: Knightfall.

I bawled like a baby. I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm pretty sure other people did. But at that point, I thought Batman was untouchable. He could spring back from anything! But reading the issues that followed, I think that's when I began to understand the darker themes of Batman comics. Seeing Bruce crippled...it made him look small and frail. But this is Bruce Wayne we're talking about! Not only did he come back, he kicked Bane's ass in a matter of bad assery that did not exist till that point.

But now that I'm older, I gotta wonder. Bane was the one who broke Batman; shook him to his core. Now what has he done lately. I'm half expecting this converstation to show up somewhere along the line:

SOME CHARACTER: And you are?
BANE: Bane.
S.C.: Who?
BANE: Bane. You know, the guy who broke Batman's back.
S.C.: Yeah, okay. But he got better. Now what have you done lately?

Call me a comic purist, but if anyone had the right to break Batman in some way, its the Joker. Not some drugged up lucha libra look-a-like who goes to the gym to much. For Christ Sake's, not only did Joker beat the holy hell out of Jason Todd, he blew him up for fun! Then Jason Todd got better blah blah blah....Let's see, then he crippled Barbara Gordon. Again, from psychology p.o.v, Joker could really screw with Batman's head and finally make him snap. But then again, Barbara is more badass as Oracle and Robin is now an insane, psychopathic/sociopathic pre-teen with issues. Just saying, J-Man could cause more damage, but that's a story for another day.

So, what I guess what I'm trying to say is:

Knightfall>Death of Batman.

So :b

The little blood filled wrestling promotion that could...

So, I was feeling a little nosgtalic tonight and looked up some Extreme Championship Wrestling videos on You Tube. It made me shed a tear.

For those of you who don't follow wrestling, Extreme Championship Wrestling (or ECW) was a small independent, semi-underground wrestling promotion that operated out of Philly. Several of my favorite wrestlers worked for that company: Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman, Raven, The Dudly Boyz, Sabu, Chris Beniot, Eddie Guerrero, Rob Van Dam...just to name a few. This was an 'anything goes' company. Blood shed was a natural occurence. Cheese graters, flaming barbwire baseball bats, staplers, VCR's, and manniquin heads were as prominent weapons as the sterotypical steel chair. Brawls in the crowd were considered legal; as was doing a moonsult off a third story balcony onto two flaming tables stacked up on each other. (And yes, that actually did happen. I can't make this stuff up!)

The wrestlers were not buffed-up body builders like you see now. And I liked that. Sandman, for instance, had a beer gut. He would come through the audience to 'Enter Sandman', swinging a Signapore Cane and drinking beer cans that he put in his pants. Made me trust the drunk guys if I ever got into a bar fight. It gave faith to the average guys. Even now, I hate the overly muscled look. Support the overly skinny/chunky guys!

This was also the first promotion I followed that the women got into it. Instead of standing in the corner and looking pretty, they took bumps and bruises just like the guys. No 'Divas' here. Nancy Beniot aka Woman(God Rest Her Soul), Beluah McGuillcuty, Dawn Marie...these were the woman worth looking up too. They were bitches with attitudes who scared me more then the men to be honest. Especially Woman. The bloodiest match of all time belonged to Beluaeh McGuillicuty vs. Bill Alfonso. It was refreshing because all WWE and WCW had at the time were over inflauted blondes who annoyed the crap out of me jacked up on silicone. Not excatly the strong female role models you want your daughter to look up too.

I remembered trying to stay up till two in the morning on Saturday because they would show ECW on Sunshine Network. If I missed it, I would steal the tape my brother recorded it on and watch it. He would get pissed if I didn't return it and he find it my VCR. Apparently, girls weren't suppose to watch something as 'brutal'. Huh, yeah...right. Rather watch Mike Awesome cheese grate some dude's forehead instead of TRL. But that's just me.

Unforunatly, the orginal ECW shut down back in 2001 due to money issues. A few years ago, WWE Owner/Satan/PMS's more then a woman dictator/owner Vince Machmon, after buying the rights to ECW (not to mention WCW...but that's another story) relaunched the brand. For fans of the original, it was a total slap in the face. For one thing, the 'hardcore extreme' ruling that made ECW was BANNED! Just because Vince doesn't dig the 'hardcore' scene. Less then a year, the ECW founding fathers who had came back were released from their contracts after everything they built for was made out to be a giant joke. Most either retired, got a job behind the scences, began wrestling in indy (independent) companies, or deflected to Total Nonstop Action (TNA). Now, reports are buzzing that this sham (that's right, I said it) will be shut down sometime in 2010. I for one will not cry, but instead bust open a pack of Coors a la Sandman and be blasting 'Enter Sandman' in celebration...even if its by myself.

But in some way, the REAL ECW will never die. You Tube is filled with old matches from television and Pay-Per-View matches. DVD's are still being produced, even though its under the WWE label. Real wrestling fans will always remember it for being something different instead of the same vanilla wrestling.

Now if you excuse me, I have to jump off a twenty foot ladder onto a flaming table.

E-C-F'N-W 4 Life.